DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

The Fem Dom Training Program.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.
http://u4ds.com/program

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Re: C: men who top from the bottom - submissive or not?
From: Peter Green
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:50:49 +0000

I have to reply to Mistress P.

Mistress P wrote:

>Is it possible that submissive men who top from the bottom don't
>realize they are doing it (if left uncorrected)?

>And if the submissive continues to top from the bottom, even
>after being corrected a number of times, would you say he is
>truly a submissive?

Yes and Yes

i was once a subbie who topped from the bottom.

a lovely Domme from Memphis USA sorted my submission out, but it
took two years of correspondence and stroppiness from me.

Thanks Brecksrider

luv rita xxx

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Re: C: men who top from the bottom - submissive or not?
Date: 15 Mar 2009 01:24:16 -0000
From: barry

Hi All,

imho, a lot of male subs (myself included) have a secondary
masochism. Here's a part of the Wikipedia definition of s/m:

"In a secondary masochism, by contrast, the masochist
experiences a less serious, more feigned rejection and
punishment by the model. Secondary masochism, in other words, is
the relatively casual version, more akin to a charade, and most
commentators are quick to point out its contrivedness."

I used to think I wasn't truly a sub because of my topping from
the bottom and my "do-me" sub mentality, but reading that
article helped me understand where Nuked Potatoes is coming
from. I always knew that there was something wrong with my
submission that was something to be "gotten over". And it is
true that the the selfish, do-me part of my submission needs to
be gotten over. But now I know that my submission isn't fake,
just a little flawed.

barry

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Re: C: men who top from the bottom - submissive or not?
Date: 15 Mar 2009 15:17:45 -0000
From: bill star

Mistress P wrote:

>would you say he is truly a submissive?

Good question. I believe there are levels of service. I believe
that there are relationships where one is not a slave, but
certainly wants to experience their submission. I fall into this
category.

I am clearly submissive to many authoritative women but i also
switch and find that i am good at it. To the Domme looking for
someone that is going to follow her every word and think totally
about her i am not a good match and i know that.

For the Women that enjoys control and enjoys getting into
someone's head and isn't consumed with the rigors of traditional
dress or performance and rules i am a great fit.

She may allow plenty of room for me to feel my freedom and
control only to have me voluntarily give it up and showing me
how much i really need that control and the need for my own
submission.

I would be glad to discuss this with someone. I do not see
myself as someone topping from the bottom; but certainly if i
portrayed myself as a slave i am not being true to myself or my
Top

bill

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Re: C: men who top from the bottom - submissive or not?
From: Madamplz
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:56:14 EDT

MichaelK wrote:

>"in a strong FemDom relationship does a Mistress really want a
>sub who never makes suggestions? Does she really want a sub
>that never shares with her how he would like to please her?"

No. Although if my submissive shares with me how he would like
to please me and I reject his idea(s) I will get annoyed if he
doesn't drop the subject.

Mistress P wrote:

>Is it possible that submissive men who top from the bottom
>don't realize they are doing it (if left uncorrected)?

There are men who may not realize they are topping from the
bottom. My guess is that they've spent too much time alone
fantasizing about what a dominant woman is. They may have
developed an expectation of what she does that makes her
dominant and project those expectations on you.

There are also men who pretend to be submissive or whose
submission ends the second they finish cumming.

Mistress P wrote:

>And if the submissive continues to top from the bottom, even
>after being corrected a number of times, would you say he is
>truly a submissive?

There's also the possibility that the submissive doesn't fully
grasp what it is that you are demanding. If that's the case he
may revert to what he thinks is supposed to be done and not
necessarily what you want him to do.

Would you care to offer more information?

Madam

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Re: C: Anal Worship
Date: 18 Mar 2009 05:21:06 -0000
From: bkdrsubmale

Give me a _top_ woman who _loves_ to use a strap-on!

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Re: C: dominant woman - only in a drunken stupor
From: Madamplz
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:00:26 EDT

MsLynn wrote:

>I and the many dominant women I know will neither cease to
>exist nor pound down doors to prove ourselves.

I would have to agree. It is completely immaterial whether or
not someone believes I am dominant or anyone at all is dominant -
least of all, someone who drinks to convince himself.

Madam

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Re: C: dominant woman - only in a drunken stupor
From: "Darryl" nuked potatoes
Date: Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:20:59 -0600

MsLynn wrote:

>I and the many dominant women I know will neither cease to
>exist nor pound down doors to prove ourselves.

Hello Ms Lynn,

What a cop out pfft :-) I do not ask you to prove a dominant
Woman exists. I say there are none. A true Woman seeks love just
like any man.

Kink is a man thing probably brought on by the way he was raised
and of course having strong women around him.

This is not topping from the bottom or anything else of Elise
Sutton bs... not all is bs of course. Many women find their
verification by thinking they are dominant, and it is not true.

nuked potatoes

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Re: C: dominant woman - only in a drunken stupor
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 2009 05:37:21 -0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

nuked potatoes wrote:

>I do not ask you to prove a dominant Woman exists. I say there
>are none.

By saying such a thing you are just giving the impression that
you are a person who is completely ignorant. The world has
always had substantial numbers of dominant women. Study your
history books for famous examples.

You also assert that:-

>Kink is a man thing probably brought on by the way he was raised
>and of course having strong women around him.

And those strong women you mention, what are they Nuked? Are
they dominant women?

As to your suggestion that "Kink is a man thing" - that is also
complete poppycock.

There are kinky women and kinky men. The source of their kink is
by no means proven but you'll find some links to resources in
this post which may help you to understand more. Even in men it
is not limited only to those "men having strong women around"
them.

There is a lot of research available to you, and off hand I
don't know the precise statistics on the amount or proportion of
men and women. My own experience should not be taken as a
statistically relevant sample. But when meeting kinky folk I've
often found that the submissives are the kinkiest partners in a
couple.

I've met some submissive and very kinky women, and in the
submissive women I've met spanking and bondage seems to be quite
prevalent. Some of the kinky women I've met have been switches.
Some were lovers of administering punishment and not always keen
on taking it themselves when submitting.

I've met kinky women living with straight men, which tends to
give the lie to your idea that women only do it to please their
man.

I've obviously met lots of dominant women who also liked to
administer discipline to their men. Some of those women have
told me quite frankly which aspects of kink they like, and which
they don't. It's quite common for women to enjoy thrashing a
chap they love and are married to.

I've not encountered a female fetishist, so I tend to think that
aspect of kink is more of a "man thing" - but I have no doubt
that there are female fetishists out there, and see this link
for further discussion on the gender of fetishists:-

Sexual fetishism - Gender

It also says on that page that:-

"Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual attraction
to objects or body parts not conventionally viewed as being
sexual in nature."

which I think is a somewhat limited but useful definition.

To understand the differences and variety in kinks, if the
access to 13 years of DOMestic has not been enough to enlighten
you, then try reading the literature suggested on the Wikipedia
page for kink at:-

References and further reading.

On the Wikipedia page I mention above it also says:-

"Kink is a term used to refer to a broad range of sexual
practices (sometimes referred to as kinky), including spanking,
bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism (BDSM) and
sexual fetishism. Kink sexual practices transgress what are
considered "normal" sexual boundaries as a means of heightening
the intimacy between sexual partners. Some draw a distinction
between "kink" and "fetishism", defining the former as enhancing
partner intimacy, and the latter as replacing it."

>Many women find their verification by thinking they are
>dominant, and it is not true.

That is another silly generalisation Nuked. When you generalise
like that you are going to be wrong at least half the time.
Sometimes it is true, sometimes it isn't.

I suggest you get out more, perhaps go to a library instead of
the bar and there you could get an education in a place where
you might at the same time meet new people.

It is best not to waste your time by posting rude or ignorant
assertions which have no basis in fact. Feel free to express
your opinions or ask questions in a more sensible and respectful
way.

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

The DOMestic discussion list. Now in our thirteenth year. The
password site now has over 6,700 files with well over 400
stories, plus pictures, and hundreds of articles. $26.99 for a
one year password. $16.99 for six months at
http://u4ds.com/password

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
From: Madamplz
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:49:47 EDT

Christine wrote:

>having a met a potential partner who you like a lot, if you
>don't give that person a chance to know your kinky self, you'll
>never find a partner who may love you for who you are, and who
>may also want to share your kink with you.

I agree. Don't try to guess whether or not the partner is kinky
and then hope for the best after you've sealed the deal. The
partner may feel betrayed or tricked into committing to you
without committing to the kinky side of your nature.

Madam

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
From: "Darryl" - Nuked potatoes
Date: Sat, 14 Mar 2009 19:57:32 -0600

Hello Ms Christine,

That was a very nice reply.

you wrote:

>having a met a potential partner who you like a lot, if you
>don't give that person a chance to know your kinky self

And that was my point - a Woman if in love will do :-) it is not
how a woman is. A man gives his woman power

Nuked potatoes

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 2009 03:54:49 -0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello Nuked,

you wrote:

>And that was my point

No. Your original point/s were not very well made at all, they
consisted of broad and sweeping generalisation that dominant
and/or kinky women don't exist. That is just plain wrong.

In order to help you differentiate between such nonsensical
generalisations and possibly valid specific points I started a
new thread for you where I explained how it is for one specific
woman, me. I tried to help you see that there can be a
difference between dominance and kinkiness.

I explained that I'm a dominant woman who has come to enjoy kink
because my man loves it. That doesn't mean that all women are
like me.

You don't seem to get it Nuked, as you are still making sweeping
generalisations that will be generally wrong even if almost
accurate when applied to a specific woman. If you can start
expressing yourself better, and drop the tendency to
generalise, you'll find a more sympathetic audience to whatever
specific points you are trying to make.

>a Woman if in love will do :-) it is not how a woman is

Do you see what is wrong with that statement.

You say "a woman" - do you mean all women, or one specific
woman?

If you mean all women, then don't be daft, that's just
poppycock. There might be more fetishism in men, but there are
millions of kinky women, and some of them live with non kinky
and very straight men. I've met them. Women are often kinky
without being fetishistic.

It's just the way the world often works that people do not
always meet the ideal partners or counterparty to their kink.
That's why it's best to express yourself to increase your
chances of meeting and then forming a relationship with the
right one.

If you've met quite a few women then you've probably unknowingly
met many genuinely kinky women who have just not shared their
kink with you, because, like many men, they would be too
embarrassed to open up. And many of them would not have had the
kinks that precisely matched yours.

>A man gives his woman power

There you go again. Is that all men, or one specific man?

Couples exchange power in lots of different ways.

There are all sorts out there. I've met lots of men who give
their woman power. I've met women who give their man power. I've
met couples where one or both don't understand the power
exchange at all but are dominating and submitting without even
knowing that they would be thought by others to be kinky.

But don't kid yourself. Most women I know have the power, and
many of them know it. We just like to let men think they are
giving the power to us. It makes the poor boys feel better. :-)

sincerely,
Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.
http://www.mschristine.com/program.shtml

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
Date: 15 Mar 2009 19:21:48 -0000
From: Michele

Christine, I am following this thread with interest. I agree
with you and David that Nuked is expressing himself poorly at
times (that's not new!) and indulges in too many sweeping
generalisations.

I don't even understand what the question "Is kink really fair
for most women?" is supposed to mean. What does the concept of
"fairness" have to do with "kink"? I am confused.

Also, how do we define "kink," "kinky," "kinkiness"? I don't
think we can just say that we can tell what's kink when we see
it, so we don't have to define it. Where "normal" ends and
"kink" starts? What, for that matter, is "normal"? You wrote
that "there are millions of kinky women." Depending on the
definition of "kinky" I might say that you're probably right, or
on the contrary that you probably overstate the number.

Many women are dominant without being kinky. You say you never
had a kinky thought until you met David. And I never had a kinky
thought until I decided to make my marriage a D/s relationship
(which was not, in itself, a "kinky thought" but a means to an
end). So that's at least two of us, and there must be others!
Lots of them!

The problem with the word "dominant" is that it conjures up the
image of the leather-clad, whip-wielding Dominatrix that so many
submissive or would-be submissive men fantasize about. But many
women are dominant in various aspects of their everyday life
without being dominant in their sexual life. It is usually their
male partner - husband or boyfriend - who brings them into the
"kinky" sex life. More often than not, the woman accepts the
role of domme (when she does accept it at all, which she often
doesn't) to please her partner, not because she enjoys it. In
that sense it can be said that topping from the bottom is more
the rule than the exception.

No doubt there are women who genuinely do enjoy sexual
domination, and some of them can even be quite sadistic, but
although I have no way to prove it, I suspect that they are in a
rather small minority. Which may account for the frustration
that led Nuked to his generalisations.

By the way, didn't Nuked have a satisfactory D/s relationship
some years ago? That experience would in itself invalidate his
statements.

Michele

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 00:00:35 -0000
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello Michele,

you wrote:

>I am following this thread with interest

I'm so glad. I thought I might be wasting my time and that of
the readership in general. It feels like talking to a brick wall
at times, especially with Nuked :-)

>I don't even understand what the question "Is kink really
>fair for most women?" is supposed to mean. What does the
>concept of "fairness" have to do with "kink"? I am confused.

I'm slightly less confused than you, because when David plucked
that question out of Nuked's ramblings, I vaguely remembered
that Nuked has raised such ideas on DOMestic before. I asked
David and we both think it was when he was in a relationship
with a young lady who was very definitely opposed to kink.

We didn't want to spend our time searching the archives. So,
instead I figured that I might draw Nuked to talk more about the
subject that was perhaps behind his recent assertions.

>Also, how do we define "kink," "kinky," "kinkiness"?

I've discussed some of the definitions here:-

http://u4ds.com/2009/02/dominant_woman_only_in_a_drunk.shtml#c006218

>I don't think we can just say that we can tell what's kink when
>we see it

I guess a fair definition is that kink is that which we believe
to be so unconventional as to be embarrassing to admit to
enjoying, even to well known acquaintances.

>so we don't have to define it

No. But to help to answer Nuked's question of "Is kink really
fair for most women?" it would be helpful if we knew what it was
we were discussing. How can we judge it to be fair, or
otherwise, if we don't have some idea of what it is?

>Where "normal" ends and "kink" starts?

It's boundaries have changed a lot in my lifetime. Some of our
mothers might have felt that even admitting to enjoying sex was
not "normal" for a woman. Oral sex would have been a very wicked
perversion for many. Whereas nowadays, I think it's fair to say,
both female enjoyment and oral sex are seen by the majority as
normal and healthy.

>What, for that matter, is "normal"?

That which is the "norm" :-) Conventional is perhaps a better
word, but it doesn't get us much further. :-)

>You wrote that "there are millions of kinky women." Depending
>on the definition of "kinky" I might say that you're probably
>right

I was using David's mathematical basis. He's has shown me
statistics over the years that suggest that at least 5% and
probably around 15% of people in western countries indulge in
sexual activities which the general populace regarded at the
time as being "kinky".

On that basis, we would be talking many millions of women. A
million or more in the USA alone.

>or on the contrary that you probably overstate the number.

You could be right. That which was once regarded as kinky is now
so totally normal, that although more people now indulge in
those activities, they are now closer to the norm, and thus no
longer kinky.

Kinky is now normal.

>Many women are dominant without being kinky.

True. After David read my reply to Nuked at:-

http://u4ds.com/2009/02/dominant_woman_only_in_a_drunk.shtml#c006218

he pointed out that in the first paragraph I was replying to
Nuked about conventional dominance, and Nuked was probably
talking about his definition of a "Dominant Woman" whatever that
means to him.

So I "invited" David to post a "Dominant Woman definition" in
the hope that Nuked would either...

a.) accept that dominant women do exist

or better still...

b.) define what kind of woman it is that he thinks doesn't
exist.

>You say you never had a kinky thought until you met David

That's true, I think. It is thirty years ago now. A different
world. Kink was underground, and the first issue of Skin Two had
not hit the streets, at least not in my neighbourhood.

Although it has to be said that it was as though David had lit a
fuse. Once he introduced me to the concepts I found them to be
both terrifying in their strangeness to me, yet at the same time
intriguing, fascinating, and quite a lot of fun.

David encouraged me to read the very mildly kinky Forum
magazine, and pointed out the fantasies and so called reader's
letters that they published that he enjoyed. I was soon inspired
to write my first rather naive story "The Lorelei" with just the
mildest hint of dom sub and kinky fetish. I sent it in to Forum
in the UK and got a rejection slip of course.

Undeterred, and encouraged by David's enjoyment of my fictional
works, and our bedroom games as they were then, I continued to
write stories that got much more kinky. I had David as my avid
fan and only reader eagerly devouring my work for some years
before we both started publishing ourselves.

We fed off each other, enthusiasm being contagious, and my
writing inspired David to express himself through fiction as
well.

>And I never had a kinky thought until I decided to make my
>marriage a D/s relationship (which was not, in itself, a
>"kinky thought" but a means to an end). So that's at least two
>of us, and there must be others!

Yes indeed. That might give some hope to the many men searching
for their dominant woman. She is out there, and not necessarily
where you expect to find her. She might be at the very next desk
in the office just waiting to be discovered or introduced.

>The problem with the word "dominant" is that it conjures up the
>image of the leather-clad, whip-wielding Dominatrix that so
>many submissive or would-be submissive men fantasize about.

Indeed. But most men do realise, I hope, that real life is not
going to be quite like that. Certainly the fantasies that David
enjoyed and showed me in Forum were folk with very "normal"
lives, but just more than a bit kinky in private. So I could
easily see myself in the roles he clearly enjoyed thinking about
me indulging him with.

Although I have to admit that I like clothes, and I bought a lot
of leather and shiny outfits as soon as David suggested he liked
them. The enthusiasm of a submissive man was all the
encouragement a twenty five year old woman needed to indulge in
some serious clothes buying. :-)

After wearing my new outfits and fetish wardrobe at home I was
also quite eager (and at the same time terrified) for him to
find somewhere he could take me to so that I could wear them out
in public and swish about in.

When I did so, having men literally falling at my feet to
worship me was, to say the least, flattering and quite likely to
turn a naive young woman's head. (OK I'll admit to exaggerating
my innocence a bit for dramatic effect!)

My terror might be more understandable when you realise that I
am talking here of a trip to London in the early 80's and the
Maitresse club was at that time a once a week event which took
over a rather seedy establishment which was a gay bar six days a
week. Fetish was not at all mainstream and certainly not yet as
fashionable as it was to become in the nineties.

>But many women are dominant in various aspects of their
>everyday life without being dominant in their sexual life.

That was me. David told me quite frankly that he had always
thought me a dominant and demanding woman, and obviously that
was part of what attracted him. I was actually quite hurt that
perhaps he didn't think me a "nice girl". The diplomat in David
had to be quite careful to encourage without offending.

>It is usually their male partner - husband or boyfriend - who
>brings them into the "kinky" sex life. More often than not,
>the woman accepts the role of domme (when she does accept it at
>all, which she often doesn't) to please her partner, not
>because she enjoys it. In that sense it can be said that
>topping from the bottom is more the rule than the exception.

Now I think you might be straying into the kind of
generalisation that will only encourage Nuked in his own
prejudices. I'm not at all sure that we have enough data to use
phrases like "more often than not" and "usually". I'll accept
"many" and "often" as being proven by my own experiences of
meeting others online and in person.

>No doubt there are women who genuinely do enjoy sexual
>domination, and some of them can even be quite sadistic

Of that there is no doubt. We've met many here on DOMestic, and
I've met quite a few sadistic women in person. Sadism in women
is not as rare as you might think.

>but although I have no way to prove it, I suspect that they are
>in a rather small minority.

Yes, well that's more or less where we came in. Kinkiness is
kinky because it is (or was) in the minority. But a small
minority is not the "none" that Nuked asserted.

Although I'll accept that possibly Nuked lives in an area of the
frozen north that may be somewhat parochial? Maybe there really
are few chances of meeting more open minded women?

>Which may account for the frustration that led Nuked to his
>generalisations.

I'd like Nuked to explain his frustration when he can tear
himself away from drowning his sorrows.

>By the way, didn't Nuked have a satisfactory D/s relationship
>some years ago? That experience would in itself invalidate his
>statements.

My own recollection was that the relationship he shared with us
on DOMestic was with a dominant woman from Europe who was quite
strongly against kink.

Perhaps, Nuked, you will correct me if my memory is wrong on
that matter?

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

My FemDom manuals are at
http://u4ds.com/manuals

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Re: C: Is kink really fair for most Women?
Date: 16 Mar 2009 18:49:48 -0000
From: Michele

Hello Christine!

Thanks for using my post as a springboard for additional
comments. Yours are always interesting to read.

I wonder if there is any real use or advantage in discussing
such concepts as "Kinky" and "normal" (relating to sex
activities) since, as you noted, sexual behavior and what's
considered "normal" keep changing - certainly the evolution
since the sixties (around the time we were born) has been
impressive.

When Nancy Friday published "Women on Top" in 1991 she remarked
in the preface that the young women she interviewed for the book
were profoundly different in their attitudes to sex from the
ones she interviewed in the early seventies for her first book,
"My Secret Garden." "Their voices sound like a new race of
women," she wrote. And now we are again almost twenty years
later! I'm sure today's young women are a new race too.

One major evolution during the past couple of decades is the
growing acceptance of what we call "Kink." The ads and photos in
fashion magazines are full of allusions, often blatant, to BDSM,
lesbianism etc... Many young couples now include light bondage
and other kinky practices in their lovemaking.

I was surprised to find out how widespread the use of strap-on
dildoes has become in France in the last few years - women
sodomizing their boyfriends or husbands, and the men enjoying
it. I am not claiming that the practice has become "the norm"
but the freedom with which many women discuss it on specialized
internet sites strikes me as something quite new.

Michele

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C: Dominant Woman definition
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:32:53 -0000
From: "David" at u4ds.com

Hello,

In a reply to "dominant woman - only in a drunken stupor" - I
wrote to Nuked/Darryl:-

>Why don't you start different and more sensible threads?
>Perhaps they could be entitled:-
>"Is kink really fair for most Women?"
>"Dominant Women definition needed"

As Christine has started the first of those suggested threads
and it hasn't helped Darryl (aka Nuked Potatoes) to understand
why he's wrong, I'll have a stab at helping Darryl to find the
dominant woman definition that he so clearly needs.

I hope we all understand the words "woman" and "definition", and
if so, there is only one word that we need to focus on.
"dominant".

The Wikipedia pages for the word and it's relevant derivations
are at:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domination
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance_and_submission

But if you read those articles and click on anything relevant to
the word "dominant", you can realistically only end up at this
page to define the word "dominant" in a BDSM context:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominant_(BDSM)#Dominant

The key phrase there seems to me to be:-

"A dominant typically refers to the individual who has actual
control of the BDSM context/relationship, exercising authority
or power over a submissive"

So, Darryl/Nuked, for a definition of a "dominant woman" you
could paraphrase that as:-

"A dominant woman has actual control of the BDSM
context/relationship, exercising authority or power over a
submissive"

Do you accept that definition of a "Dominant Woman"?

If not, would you like to give us your definition?

sincerely,
David at u4ds.com

Download "Prickteasing" by David at
http://www.u4ds.com/manuals

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admin: What's new on the DOMestic Blog
Date: 17 Mar 2009 07:35:45 -0000
From: MichaelK

Hi Ms Christine and David,

I have started to read the Blog instead of just waiting for the
email digest. It is not easy to remember how many replies each
topic had before, so I find it hard to know when a new reply has
been posted.

If there was an easy way to let frequent readers see what was
new, then that would make the Blog much more useful.

Best Regards,
MichaelK

http://devotionalsex.com

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Re: admin: What's new on the DOMestic Blog
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 01:24:31 -0000
From: "David" at u4ds.com

Hello Michael,

Thanks for your feedback.

There are two ways you can know when new messages/replies have
been posted. And in response to your message I've today made the
first of them much more obvious. I hope this works for you?

1. See the right hand menu. Click on the words "Latest Comments"
(near the top) This will load:-

http://u4ds.com/replies.shtml

which will display all comments to the blog in reverse date
order, newest at the top.

or

2. Click on the orange icon in the right hand side of your URL
bar which allows you to subscribe to either of the newsfeeds.
The one you would want would be the DOMestic Blog feed. This
would let your browser software know immediately whenever a new
message or reply has been posted.

More info on newsfeeds can also be found via the right hand
menu, (near the bottom) by clicking on the link to the
help file "Newsfeed Help".

If anyone has suggestions for how I can make this or any aspect
of blog operation more clear then please feel free to let me
know.

sincerely,
David at u4ds.com

The DOMestic discussion list. Now in our thirteenth year. The
password site now has over 6,700 files with well over 400
stories, plus pictures, and hundreds of articles. $26.99 for a
one year password. $16.99 for six months at
http://u4ds.com/password

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Re: admin: What's new on the DOMestic Blog
Date: Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:26:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: MichaelK

Hi David,

Thanks for your reply.

The "Latest Comments" link is just what I wanted - the perfect
solution for me.

Best wishes,
MichaelK

(Devotional Sex)

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Re: admin: What's new on the DOMestic Blog
Date: 18 Mar 2009 06:50:30 -0000
From: MissE

Another way is to use bloglines (www.bloglines.com) I have
been using it to follow multiple blogs and it saves a lot of
time as I only go to those blogs that have an entry vs having to
check each and every one of them.

MissE

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Re: admin: What's new on the DOMestic Blog
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:40:55 -0000
From: "David" at u4ds.com

Hello,

MissE wrote:

>Another way is to use bloglines

My favourite is Opera, but yes, we have a link to Bloglines and
a few other feed readers in the "Other Browsers and Readers"
section of our help file at:-

http://www.mschristine.com/newsfeed.shtml

To be sure a feed reader updates you when a new comment is
posted, which is what MichaelK wanted, and not just new entries,
you would need to give it the individual messages / blog url
http://u4ds.com/index.xml as opposed to the digest only feed.

I imagine using something like Bloglines is also handy for
keeping records of which blogs you read off your computer, so
might be useful for folk using business or family machines.

>I have been using it to follow multiple blogs and it saves a
>lot of time as I only go to those blogs that have an entry vs
>having to check each and every one of them

The feed reader built into Opera is the best I've used, much
more user friendly than IE or Firefox. It does exactly the same,
but saves having to log on to a web site. You can have it check
all your blogs at once, or select the ones you want to look at.

If you spend a lot of time online it has a handy little message
in the bottom right of the screen which tells you when new
messages have appeared on your blogs so you get to see them
sooner. You can even set it to check different blogs more
frequently than others if you like, so a high traffic blog might
be auto-checked every 5 minutes.

But using a browser based feed reader is probably not ideal for
shared computers, as other folk using the computer would see
what interests you.

sincerely,
David at u4ds.com

Support DOMestic at:-
http://u4ds.com/password

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S: Anniversary Surprise - Chapter Twelve
From: Shoekisser
Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2009 22:48:56 +0000

First chapter is at:-
http://u4ds.com/2008/11/anniversary_surprise.shtml

Anniversary Surprise

Chapter Twelve

When we got home that night, she had me remove the shirt and
pants, and sit on the floor at her feet.

"We need to assure that you are more feminine at all times.
Starting now, any time you are home, you will be appropriately
attired in a maid; dress, heels, and makeup. And you will resume
the maid's duties you learned at the academy. Any time you go
out, in addition to feminine underwear, you will wear women's
shoes with your pants and shirts."

A week or two later she found a pair of black women's lace-up
oxfords. These had a definite feminine shape to them with a
pointed toe and a one inch narrow heel. She accompanied me to
the store to try them on, and insisted I buy them, and wear them
out of the store.

About the same time, she found some "Mary Janes for men"
advertised on line, and bought me a pair. They were wide and
heavy, like men's shoes, but had an instep strap and were
definitely Mary Janes. They reminded her of the original pair of
real Mary Janes I wore that first day at the airport and on the
plane. So she had me dig them out of my closet and add them to
the list of acceptable shoes.

She insisted I wear one of these pairs of shoes to work every
day, and any other time I was out of the house. The girls at
work used to try to guess which shoes I would wear each day.
There were even rumors of a betting pool. Thus, even though I
wore shirts and slacks to work, the shoes definitely fit the
feminine mold.

The day of my next Pilates class, she had me paint my finger
nails and toe nails pink. She added additional padding to my
pink bra, and made me put it on, along with the pink panties,
then the pink top and pink skirt. Anticipating her next move, I
got both the pink running shoes and pink ballet slippers out,
and asked her which she preferred.

"Nice try, but the answer is neither. I think your pink heels
will look nice with that outfit."

I objected, and, of course, got zapped, and wound up wearing the
heels. She also applied light makeup, pink eye-shadow, and
lipstick that matched the nail polish.

On the way to Pilates, we stopped at a sporting goods store. She
announced to the clerk that I needed a running bra. The clerk
looked shocked, but soon recovered. She pulled out a tape
measure.

"Hold your arms out to the side."

That command brought back embarrassing memories, but I did as I
was told. She measured me around the chest.

"The only bras we have in his size are black. Is that OK?"

"I think black will be fine. It will provide contrast with his
pink top."

I was led into a dressing room, and told to remove my top and
bra, which I did. After I had the black running bra on, The
clerk said, "He's kind of flat-chested, isn't he? I recommend he
wear his padded bra under the running bra so he looks more like
a woman."

"Good idea."

So I put the pink bra back on and the black running bra over it.

"I would also like to see some tops more appropriate for
Pilates."

I soon had a low cut, lacy, skimpy pink top with a bare midriff
on over the bras. It didn't even come close to hiding the black
bra.

"That's better. How about pants that match the top?, and he
needs a singlet to run in, something that will show off his
bra."

The clerk left and returned with a pair of pink pants, and a
pink singlet.

"Take your skirt off."

After I removed my skirt, "Oh, those are pretty pink panties.
You're lucky your wife lets you wear them."

Yeah, right.

With difficulty, I managed to squeeze into the pants and get
them zipped. They looked like they had been painted on. The
singlet was also tight.

"Those are the largest we have in stock, but I could order
larger sizes if you prefer."

"No, I think those are just right. We want them to be tight to
show off his body."

"There seems to be a bulge in his crotch. Is he excited?"

"No, that's just a device that helps to control him. If he did
get excited, I would use it would reduce the swelling quickly.
It also works to correct him when necessary."

She pushed a button, and I was on the floor.

"My, that is effective. I'd like to have one for my boyfriend.
Where can I get one of those?"

My wife handed her a ManTran card.

On our way out of the store, my wife spotted a shocking pink
Pilates mat. She decided I needed one.

We arrived at Pilates just as the class was about to start. The
women were all seated on mats on the floor. When I walked in
wearing the skirt, new tight pink top, with the black bra
showing, and heels, the instructor noticed me, and said, "Well,
what do we have here?"

My wife, who had followed me into the room, "He wanted to show
off his new outfit."

"It's lovely. Come up here and let us all see it."

"I can't do that."

I got zapped, and heard, "Do it, or I'll take your pretty pink
panties away. Is that what you want?"

Without thinking, I responded, "No, Mistress," which got a laugh
from the class.

"Oh, you have a pretty pink mat. Bring it up here. I saved you a
place right in front of me."

The spot in front of the instructor was usually avoided because
it was the center of attention. I had to walk carefully in the
heels to the front of the room through all the women, who, of
course, had comments to make.

"Oh, aren't you sweet? You're wearing make-up and pink nail
polish. I like that. Raise your skirt and show us your panties."

I did and got whistles and catcalls.

"Take your pretty heels off, and let's get to work."

Of course, exposing my painted toe nails brought more comments.
I was the center of attention throughout the class, particularly
when my body position was such that my panties were exposed.

The next time I ran, my wife had me dress in the short pink
skirt, pink panties, lacy white petti pants, that hung below the
bottom of the skirt, jog bra, much of which was visible, and
pink singlet. Every woman I encountered noticed and commented on
my appearance.

The following week my wife announced that she had found an adult
ballet class for me. We went shopping in a dance store, where
she told the clerk I was going to start taking a class. The
clerk was very helpful, and inquired where the class was. I
tried on and bought a leotard, tights, and a tutu, all pink, of
course. She also decided the ballet shoes I had weren't good
enough. I needed toe shoes. Of course I had to model everything
in the store, which was full of women and girls.

The day of the class, I again had make-up and fingernail polish
applied. She also did something to pile my hair on top of my
head, incorporating the hair piece.

Unlike Pilates, where the instructor and other class members
knew me, the ballet class was all strangers, or so I thought.
Then I recognized the instructor. She was the dance store clerk
who had sold me the outfit I was wearing. She hadn't said
anything to me in the store, but I sensed that she may have
confided in my wife, and warned the class to expect me. Again, I
created a sensation, which was another humiliating experience.

My wife decided that two weeks of training wasn't enough, so we
continued this routine beyond that. During that time, I slept on
the floor with bound arms attached to the foot of her bed. There
was no sex, except I received the dildo weekly.

Finally, after a month, she sat me down, at her feet, and asked
if I had learned my lesson and would behave properly if she
removed the ball ring.

I, of course, said, "Yes, Mistress."

"I certainly hope so. If you backslide again, you will go to
work and everywhere else in a dress and heels. All your male
clothing will disappear. I will let the girls at the beauty
parlor do the permanent make-up on you. I also will make our
dildo sessions public."

Since I now knew she had the power to do all that, and wouldn't
hesitate, I replied, "Please don't do that. I'll do whatever you
want."

She had me stand and raise the skirt of my maid's dress. She
unlocked, and removed the ball ring.

"I hope we don't need this again."

"So do I, Mistress."

* * * end of messages * * *

The DOMestic discussion list. Now in our thirteenth year. The
password site now has over 6,700 files with well over 400
stories, plus pictures, and hundreds of articles. $26.99 for a
one year password. $16.99 for six months at:-
http://u4ds.com/password

The Fem Dom Training Program.
Warning! Turns your wife/lover into a Dominatrix
http://u4ds.com/program

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