DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

What is topping from the bottom?

In Devotional Sex the couple are more a partnership than
traditional FemDom. So, unless told otherwise by his Princess,
there is nothing wrong with a Knight saying:

Would you like a foot massage?
How about we go to bed for a cuddle?
Can I have a Devotional Cuddle?
Would you like me to Reveal?
Can I give you oral sex?
Can I sit at your feet?

In Devotional Sex most of what is done might arise from a
Knight's suggestions!

This all gives the Princess ideas of what to do next, and tells
her what her Knight is thinking.

But absolutely nothing happens unless the Princess says "yes".

Princess Power is very real because a Princess will not always
say "yes". Sometimes she will be inspired by a suggestion to do
something else. And of course all of her "suggestions" do
happen.

As long as the Princess never feels forced or pressured to do
something she is always the person with the power. And both feel
and know this.

Devotional Sex is mild FemDom (which is one reason it is
suitable for non-dominant women). And it does not aim for the
male to be a "true submissive". So I'm not suggesting that the
more partnership like style of Devotional Sex is best for
traditional strong FemDom couples.

But in a strong FemDom relationship does a Mistress really want
a sub who never makes suggestions? Does she really want a sub
that never shares with her how he would like to please her?

And as I believe that all relationships will only work if both
get enough out of what happens to want to continue, is it wrong
for a sub to let his Mistress know what he would like?

Even in Devotional Sex a Knight's suggestions are never a
command which his Princess must obey. A Knight cannot make
something happen.

Is it ever the case that topping from the bottom does mean the
sub / Knight takes control?

Or does topping from the bottom just mean that the sub / Knight
is making too many suggestions?

Cheers,
MichaelK

PS Thanks to all those who visited my site after my earlier
posting. I hope some of you liked what you found.

I have to reply to Mistress P.

Mistress P wrote:

>Is it possible that submissive men who top from the bottom don't
>realize they are doing it (if left uncorrected)?

>And if the submissive continues to top from the bottom, even
>after being corrected a number of times, would you say he is
>truly a submissive?

Yes and Yes

i was once a subbie who topped from the bottom.

a lovely Domme from Memphis USA sorted my submission out, but it
took two years of correspondence and stroppiness from me.

Thanks Brecksrider

luv rita xxx

Hi All,

imho, a lot of male subs (myself included) have a secondary
masochism. Here's a part of the Wikipedia definition of s/m:

"In a secondary masochism, by contrast, the masochist
experiences a less serious, more feigned rejection and
punishment by the model. Secondary masochism, in other words, is
the relatively casual version, more akin to a charade, and most
commentators are quick to point out its contrivedness."

I used to think I wasn't truly a sub because of my topping from
the bottom and my "do-me" sub mentality, but reading that
article helped me understand where Nuked Potatoes is coming
from. I always knew that there was something wrong with my
submission that was something to be "gotten over". And it is
true that the the selfish, do-me part of my submission needs to
be gotten over. But now I know that my submission isn't fake,
just a little flawed.

barry

Mistress P wrote:

>would you say he is truly a submissive?

Good question. I believe there are levels of service. I believe
that there are relationships where one is not a slave, but
certainly wants to experience their submission. I fall into this
category.

I am clearly submissive to many authoritative women but i also
switch and find that i am good at it. To the Domme looking for
someone that is going to follow her every word and think totally
about her i am not a good match and i know that.

For the Women that enjoys control and enjoys getting into
someone's head and isn't consumed with the rigors of traditional
dress or performance and rules i am a great fit.

She may allow plenty of room for me to feel my freedom and
control only to have me voluntarily give it up and showing me
how much i really need that control and the need for my own
submission.

I would be glad to discuss this with someone. I do not see
myself as someone topping from the bottom; but certainly if i
portrayed myself as a slave i am not being true to myself or my
Top

bill

MichaelK wrote:

>"in a strong FemDom relationship does a Mistress really want a
>sub who never makes suggestions? Does she really want a sub
>that never shares with her how he would like to please her?"

No. Although if my submissive shares with me how he would like
to please me and I reject his idea(s) I will get annoyed if he
doesn't drop the subject.

Mistress P wrote:

>Is it possible that submissive men who top from the bottom
>don't realize they are doing it (if left uncorrected)?

There are men who may not realize they are topping from the
bottom. My guess is that they've spent too much time alone
fantasizing about what a dominant woman is. They may have
developed an expectation of what she does that makes her
dominant and project those expectations on you.

There are also men who pretend to be submissive or whose
submission ends the second they finish cumming.

Mistress P wrote:

>And if the submissive continues to top from the bottom, even
>after being corrected a number of times, would you say he is
>truly a submissive?

There's also the possibility that the submissive doesn't fully
grasp what it is that you are demanding. If that's the case he
may revert to what he thinks is supposed to be done and not
necessarily what you want him to do.

Would you care to offer more information?

Madam

Mistress P /sub_arub wrote:

>Is it possible that submissive men who top from the bottom
>don't realize they are doing it (if left uncorrected)? And if
>the submissive continues to top from the bottom, even after
>being corrected a number of times, would you say he is truly a
>submissive?

From my personal experiences, if a man I'm playing with has
limited real life experience, then I find that he will have more
of a tendency to top from the bottom.

Is it correctable? It is *IF* he is seeking to be a submissive
partner. If he is not, and only wants to have done to him what
appeals to him, then he will continue to top from the bottom.

I detest the word "true" when dealing with D/s. Some have told
me I'm not a true dominant due to the fact that I do allow my
boys a little room to be 'sammy', and then I've had others who
highly consider me to be a "true" dominant because I have no
issues or qualms about putting a boy out of my service.

What I would suggest in this case is communication. Find out
what he seeks from a D/s relationship. One of my primary ways of
"screening" a new boy is to have him give me as detailed a "day
in the life" as possible and then we go from there.

Sincerely,
Saber
AKA Miss Stress

"Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have
a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a
limited future." - Jim Rohn

topping from the bottom - what is it?

People with bdsm feelings have in real life often the opposite
role.

topping from the bottom = self absorbed