DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

The Fem Dom Training Program. Warning!
Turns your wife/lover into a Dominatrix.

* * * start of the digest * * *

C: humiliation ideas needed
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 2009 11:54:22 -0400
From: "M"

Hi Christine,

I have a question for the group. I am taking my slave to a
weekend long outdoor SM event with 200 other pervys on 300 acres
with unlimited toys, dungeons, cages, etc. We have been there
before and anything goes. I am looking for some fresh new ideas
that will make my slave squirm, blush, and be downright
mortified with humiliation.

When we are not in scene he begs me to stretch his limits and I
want to do just that. We are not into pain, just D/S and
humiliation play. He has a very small penis and no body hair.
When his penis is flaccid it may not even be one inch, so in and
of itself, being naked and on display for 3 days is humiliating
for him.

So anyway, if anyone has any ideas to add to his shame and my
enjoyment, I welcome your thoughts.

M

(Please don't post my e-mail address.)

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Re: C: willing lickslave - what next?
Date: 5 Jul 2009 18:22:22 -0000
From: bianconiglio

judy wrote:

>do i pursue more as in rules for my lickslave to follow or just
>keep things the way they are? As of now, i also control when he
>is permitted to cum which is no more than once a month

Judy, great you are asking this... I am, as a sub, in this kind
of situation... it seems She is also wondering how to proceed...
I am very curious what suggestions you will get!

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Re: C: willing lickslave - what next?
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:59:27 +0100
From: "David" at u4ds.com

Hello,

judy wrote:

>i have myself a very willing lickslave who has serviced me
>well

How long have you had him? Does he live in? Does he go out to
work, or is he a full time domestic servant? You will see below
why those questions help us to determine what kind of ideas to
suggest.

>i also keep myself two lovers who i see weekly and upon them
>leaving, i require the use of my lickslave.

Lucky lickslave! The "clean up after" is fantasy of many male
subs. You can see me being required to do such a clean up in our
Goddess video at:-

http://www.mschristine.com/goddessp.shtml

>what i would like to know, where do i go from here?

Where would you like to go? Why do you ask? Is it because you
are looking for ideas to increase your own fun? Or do you sense
some need in him to be taken further? If we knew which, it might
help to answer your next question which is...

>i enjoy what i have now, do i pursue more as in rules for my
>lickslave to follow or just keep things the way they are?

If you enjoy things as they are now, and if he's happy, then why
change anything? Don't fix it if it ain't broke.

However, rules can be a fun way to increase the pressure on a
sub, they can be useful ways to change his behaviour, if there
is something you would like to change, and they can also be a
good reason or just an excuse to punish and spank for failure.
Also sometimes plainly silly rules can be a lot of fun.

If he's a live in lickslave then a silly rule might be something
like "always kiss the floor when you enter a room" - and at
breakfast time you can be watching him try to remember to leap
up from munching on his cornflakes to kiss the kitchen floor as
you enter and leave the room a few times during your morning
routine.

By the time one of you leaves for work a few punishment points
may have been accumulated to allow for some fun when it's time
to get together again in the evening.

If he's not a live in slave then you can impose rules on his
morning and evening routines and question him upon your next
meeting as to whether he obeyed them. Perhaps give him a pair of
your panties which he has to keep in a pocket and take out and
kiss every time he enters or leaves any room at his home. (you
might extend this to his office or work with some caution
depending on his circumstances)

>i also control when he is permitted to cum which is no more
>than once a month as that seems to keep him with a strong
>desire to service me

Yes indeed, tease and denial is a powerful motivator. You
mention the denial element in limiting him to once a month. But
would you enjoy provoking a failure to obey that restriction by
increasing the tease element? Maybe as a way to provoke an
excuse to punish?

If so, you might require regular masturbation without orgasm, to
increase his frustration and put temptation in his path. Perhaps
supervised if you live together, or at pre-ordained times and
situations if you live apart. For example have him masturbate in
the bathroom at work three times every day, almost to the point
of ejaculation, but without actually cumming.

>Any suggestions?

Lots, and if you care to tell us more, I'm sure other folk will
chip in with theirs.

sincerely,
David

Download "Games People Play" by David

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Re: C: willing lickslave - what next?
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:38:50 +0100
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

David wrote:

>watching him try to remember to leap up from munching on his
>cornflakes to kiss the kitchen floor

Oh David! I'm surprised you forgot to mention my favourite
breakfast routine, see below....

>masturbate in the bathroom at work three times every day,
>almost to the point of ejaculation, but without actually
>cumming.

Before he goes to work, have him masturbate under the kitchen
table, out of sight, while you enjoy your own cornflakes and the
coffee he previously prepared for you. His instructions should
be to kiss your feet silently, but only when he is unable to
continue without 'spurting', as a way of asking for permission
to ejaculate.

When you've finished your breakfast you just get up and tell him
something like, "Good boy, not today, go and get dressed for
work now, you can ask for permission again tomorrow."

If he's going out to work, remember to tell him to behave
himself during the day and question him in the evening. Any
failure brings punishment, and of course prolongs the time until
he get's his reward day, when he will eventually be granted
permission.

Perhaps that reward might be to go to the bathroom with
instructions to look in the laundry basket for something to
sniff while he 'spurts' like the "dirty boy that he is".

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

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C: Domestic Discipline - Disciplinary Wives
From: "David" at u4ds.com
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:08:50 +0100

Disciplinary Wives and the Domestic Discipline they administer.
by David (see "Author's Note" at the foot of this post)

I'm David, I'm a male submissive, and Christine is my lifetime
partner. Christine made me happy by becoming my disciplinary
wife some 30 years ago in 1979. Our 30th anniversary was in June
2009. I mention this to demonstrate that FemDom can lead to
longevity in relationships and it's not just about kinky sex
games in the bedroom.

Rather than talk only about us I want to explore in this brief
article some of the many facets of "Domestic Discipline" and
"Disciplinary Wives". Domestic Discipline may be practiced by
other couples, where the male is defined as the dominant
partner, and I've no doubt that works for some, but here I'm
primarily discussing FemDom relationships.

For many submissive males and their dominant partners or wives,
domestic discipline is fundamental to their loving FemDom
relationship. For some disciplinary wives it takes the form of a
household regime with precise rules and regulations defined by
the wife or dominant partner. The rules allow the male
submissive to surrender to the authority of a female who he may
passionately desire to accept as his natural superior.

Even when the couple do not subscribe to a female supremacy
philosophy or political viewpoint, they can often find release
and joy in living a FemDom lifestyle which expresses the
superiority of just one woman. She may be his Goddess in their
relationship and this may provide the raison d'etre

Whatever the basis or framework is for them. A hierarchical
structure can exist which allows for her, as the disciplinary
wife, to control their daily lives.

Many couples who would oppose the use of corporal punishment in
the wider society, will nevertheless find such disciplinary
methods are essential to enforce the wife's authority in their
private marital relationship. The domestic discipline can be
mild or harsh.

Disciplinary rituals like daily spankings or mild floggings are
indulged in by some, not as a punishment for an infraction of
the rules, but simply as a reminder to the male submissive of
the authority of his loving wife.

For such FemDom couples spanking can be an act of intimacy that
is more intense and satisfying than a kiss and a cuddle. It may
be a way to mark the end of the working day or week with
something to set the mood back into "home" mode.

The dominant wife might send the husband to take a shower when
he comes home from work on a Friday night, with an instruction
along the lines of "get yourself cleaned up dear, I want to give
you your weekly spanking before we go out for dinner."

Other couples will use more harsh punitive measures like the,
slipper, the tawse, the cane or even a riding crop or whip as a
direct punishment for particular offences or breaches of a set
of rules.

There are many submissive male husbands who physically crave
such treatment, often known as pain sluts or masochists, for
whom ritual discipline sessions may be seen as a rewarding
experience, physically releasing endorphins which cause them to
feel those body chemicals as an emotional 'high' during the
experience.

For other male subs, like myself, the pain is not directly a
pleasurable physical sensation, far from it, but the surrender
to strict feminine discipline is more of an emotional need. The
female order, guidance and punishment for rules broken is so
satisfying that the pain is not merely a price worth paying but
is essential to making the female authority more real and
apparent.

Whatever the style of "Domestic Discipline" a particular couple
indulges in, however mild or harsh the disciplinary methods, for
them the lifestyle can be real FemDom. Such couples may have
made an overt agreement to have a FemDom relationship. But for
others it's just natural for the woman to be the authority
figure in the household, and her disciplinary nature rules their
day to day life without acknowledging it as being something
called FemDom.

For some couples there are clearly defined boundaries where
certain types of behaviour have consequences. Male masturbation
is often strictly frowned upon and controlled by disciplinary
wives. For others the behaviours controlled may be more simple
things like not leaving the toilet seat up or controlling his
smoking and drinking.

When the lady of the house is a disciplinary wife, the rules of
the house could be enforced by her permanently and 24/7 but not
necessarily overtly. For many submissive male husbands, a stern
look from the dominant wife is all that is needed to keep him in
line especially if he knows that she has the power to take him
over her knee whenever she wants, and that she will use that
power.

Other disciplinary wives prefer to control their husbands by
restricting his spending money, controlling other privileges, or
even by restricting rewards like permission to make love or
granting him a special treat like female supervised masturbation
only when he has been a "good boy".

Even if micro-management is not the order of the day, what often
differentiates this type of relationship from a hen-pecked
husband and nagging wife is the overt agreement to accept the
"carrot" and the "stick" as part of the system of control.
Nagging is never necessary if obedience is guaranteed.

Whether you prefer the "carrot" or the "stick" as an approach to
guarantee the obedience of the male, sometimes exercising the
power to impose a physical punishment is more effective and
useful from time to time to reinforce the knowledge that he
needs evidence of. The knowledge that his Disciplinary Wife is
in overall control.

Domestic discipline can allow both partners in a relationship to
express their fundamental natures in a more overt manner than is
conventional and for male submissives and dominant females this
is a recipe for true happiness for the couple.

Because both partners know where they stand, (or kneel) it
enables them to escape the disagreements or tensions that less
clearly defined "conventional" relationships may suffer from.
Thus the loving and nurturing relationship flowers and blooms in
a way that many modern households don't experience.

There is no need for a power struggle between them. Typical
gender roles are not imposed upon them by their acceptance of
cultural norms. The submissive husband is free to accept the
dominant wife's role as a mentor and protector as well as the
disciplinarian if he wishes. Indeed she may be the breadwinner
in the household as well.

Alternatively, he may fulfil the role of both mentor and
protector for her, yet accept her authority and power to have
the last word - whichever gender is in the bread-winning role.

The point is that their relationship is not defined by cultural
norms whether conventional or learned from internet web sites.
Instead their relationship is defined by her rules, or at the
very least her disciplinarian role, which they have mutually
accepted and/or agreed upon.

There are couples where the husband wishes to surrender to
absolute control over his life, not just socially and sexually,
but financially. Indeed I suggested this as the ideal to
Christine 30 years ago when we first met because I thought it
was what I wanted and needed. We tried it, and it wasn't quite
right for us.

We've found that it's important not to accept other people's
definitions, or even your own first ideas of what FemDom means,
as though it's set in stone. Instead try and define quite
precisely which aspects will work for both of you in your own
relationship. This may mean that by trial and error you will
find what works best for you, and this should allow the
relationship to grow and change, as many healthy relationships
do over the years.

In a loving relationship where the dominant wife controls and
corrects for both his and their mutual benefit an intense level
of trust can enhance the marriage in ways that other
conventional relationships may not always benefit from. Male
submission to loving female control is empowering to both and
brings the couple closer in ways which some conventional couples
would find hard to understand.

If poetic love is in essence a form of submission, and if mature
love is respect for each others needs wants and desires, then
with domestic discipline there is a mechanism by which a
disciplinary wife can show respect and love through his need to
surrender to her.

Some folk are troubled by the details of how they will be able
to enjoy this lifestyle in the presence of others, and how they
should act in public. The answer for me is simple, act
naturally.

I'm not going to "misbehave" in public, but if I did and
Christine said "you'll regret that when I get you home", the
public would likely see it as a joke, and only I would enjoy the
knowledge that I will probably "regret" it, when I get home.

How does a loving father behave in front of the kids? He defers
to the loving mother, and if she requires he show the kids a
firm fatherly manner, he will find it easier to do so with her
full support.

What happens at family dinners? You eat!

Afterwards the submissive male will appear to be quite dominant
in his insistence on doing the washing up, and will brook no
nonsense about stacking it all in the dishwasher instead. Unless
and until, of course, the disciplinary wife insists upon it.
Then he will quite graciously accept. Either way whether he
washes the dishes or stacks them in the dishwasher it's a win
win situation.

What do you do when going out with friends? In my experience you
do just the same as everyone else does. The public will only see
what they want to see. The submissive male and his disciplinary
wife look like any other couple until he is over her knee, and
that's not likely to happen when you are out with friends.

There are folk who suggest that some couples are totally open
about their lifestyle, while others maintain a secretive way of
life which they only practice behind closed doors. In my
experience, for us, neither is precisely true and and I don't
think either needs to be true.

I don't expect other people to broadcast all the details of
their relationships to all and sundry, or indeed to me. Nor do
Christine and I feel the need to broadcast our intimate details
in social interaction.

We are perhaps unusual in that we are "out" publicly on the web,
but strangely that has little or no effect on our relationships
with family and friends, either because those that do know would
rather not know, or they don't care, or quite simply they don't
know because they don't visit "kinky" web sites.

For most couples this will not be an issue because most FemDom
couples don't have web sites where they publish the details of
their lives anyway. Most FemDom couples would probably use
common sense and not use their real names when posting messages
on web sites. But even if they did not use common sense, their
friends would not necessarily see their posts.

It is not always clear to others who makes the final decision in
our relationship. But like many married couples, it would not be
at all unusual for the husband to leave the final decision on
anything the public or friends interacted with or observed to
the wife. Whether it's normal or conventional to defer to my
partner I don't really know or care, it's what I do.

There is no one true way to do FemDom, and there is no simple
definition of "Domestic Discipline" it is what the couple wants
it to be. If you have the good fortune to be the husband of a
"Disciplinary Wife" then you will likely know how intensely
satisfying it is to be disciplined by her.

If your wife has yet to grow into her role as your Goddess or
disciplinarian then don't rush her, and don't define what a
FemDom relationship is like. Let it happen by being open and
honest about your desires when she wants to talk about them and
encourage her to know and understand what her needs and desires
are.

It's unlikely that you met in a slave market, and if you did not
it's equally unlikely that she will find your slavery is a role
which immediately appeals to her. But a loving husband who is
prepared to accept her discipline and control in the way she
wishes to express it is something she may find more to her
taste.

Communication will be essential between you to establish a way
to do it that is satisfying to both of you. It has to be
satisfying to you both, or it will not be likely to be
satisfying to either.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author's note:

The article above is my own original article but I think most
fairly described as "re-written by me" after seeing one entitled
"Domestic Discipline" which is currently posted on multiple web
pages. (on perhaps a dozen different web sites)

Although I was inspired to write on the subject myself, we were
unable to post that "Domestic Discipline" article for me to
discuss and reply to here without being certain that we had the
author's permission.

Whenever we are in doubt about the copyright permissions for
articles submitted for inclusion on DOMestic we use Google to
check for identical material posted elsewhere. We understand
that the "Domestic Discipline" article may have originated at
"yesmistress" (dot) "org" as this is the first site in our
Google search results linked here.

In my own article I have only used a few phrases from the
original in order to expand upon, discuss and question some of
the ideas.

I trust I have managed to open the subject for discussion here
on DOMestic while giving credit where due to the original work
via an indirect Google link.

If the author of the "Domestic Discipline" article referred to
above wishes to post it here with a statement of his right to
publish, we will of course be pleased to link to the source
directly.

sincerely,
David at u4ds.com

The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.

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Re: P: command me to perform rimming - Jacksonville
Date: 6 Jul 2009 14:43:43 -0000
From: pussikat steve

Madamplz wrote:

>he'd be able to somersault through a hoop, hump your leg on the
>fly, and finish with a perfect landing, face first in the cleft
>of your derriere

Wot no hurdles??

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P: San Antonio, Texas - submissive females
From: "Roger Rodriguez"
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 2009 12:22:39 -0500

Just wondering if there are any submissive females in the San
Antonio area.

Thanks

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Re: P: San Antonio, Texas - submissive females
Date: 6 Jul 2009 22:51:57 -0000
From: Rose Payne

Yes, there are submissive females in the San Antonio area.

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Re: X: FemDom Training Program XP IE8
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 2009 11:22:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tom

David wrote:

>it's possible that you have spam filtering which is blocking
>all but the DOMestic digest -snip- If you received the upgrade,
>then please let us know that it worked

Dear Ms Christine and david,

Thank you both for the software and the note in newsletter. Yup
it was all in my spam folder. All working now!

BTW is it only 13 yrs, I thought you folks had something on
Usenet back in the late 80's, am I mistaken?

Cheers.. Tom

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Re: X: FemDom Training Program XP IE8
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 2009 21:40:52 +0100
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Hello,

Tom wrote:

>Yup it was all in my spam folder

Maybe it's time I mentioned "Whitelisting" again. There is a
useful article which covers many major systems, and how to
whitelist the email you want linked at:-

http://u4ds.com/whitelist_your_domestic.shtml

You might want to mark these domains as safe:-

topica.com
yahoogroups.com
Ms-Christine.com
MsChristine.com

If you don't get an email you are expecting from us it's never
because we haven't replied. We usually respond within a few
hours, and never take more than 48 hours.

>All working now!

I figured it would. I guess you are also using ie8 on XP.

>BTW is it only 13 yrs, I thought you folks had something on
>Usenet back in the late 80's, am I mistaken?

In the 80s we were sending out newsletters by printing them out
using an old Commodore computer, addressing envelopes and
sticking stamps on them. That was before the internet ever came
to town, but not much of our work survives from back then.

Yes we were present and posting on Usenet, asfd, asb et cetera
before we started DOMestic but not as far back as the 80s. We
were itching to get on but the internet didn't get to Portugal
until the mid 90s when we joined everything that was going and
set up a web site on free server space offered by a friend.

DOMestic only started as a private email group at the end of
September 1996 but we didn't send out the first email digests
until October. We didn't get our first domain name
Ms-Christine dot com to run the email system properly until
2nd January 1997.

DOMestic was started on the Onelist system as soon as it was
formed because it was getting too big to send it all out via our
domain email. We ran a copy on Egroups when they started up, and
then on Yahoogroups when Yahoo took them both over. Then, as a
precaution because Yahoo looked likely to dump the adult groups
altogether we also set DOMestic up on Topica where it's also
still going.

There are over 10,000 folk now getting DOMestic by email, but it
is now being received by many more directly from our server as a
newsfeed. See:-

http://www.mschristine.com/newsfeed.shtml

But as newsfeeds are syndicated it's now impossible to know how
many folk are reading it and where.

Looking ahead to 2022 (another 13 years) we wonder whether we'll
have some new technology going and be zapping it straight into
your brains by then. :-)

sincerely,
Christine at u4ds.com

Renew or get your DOMestic password.

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S: In The Bank Manager's Cupboard. Part Thirty-one
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:58:52 +0100
From: "Christine" at u4ds.com

Previous issues.

In The Bank Manager's Cupboard - by Ms. Christine
Copyright 1986-2009 Christine and David Stevenson

Part Thirty-one

Everyone greeted Catrina warmly, she told Brian to
'stay', just inside the door where everyone could see
him. As soon as she was seated, 'Pippa' the maid,
served her with a drink.

As David was on door duty, Karin was using Christine's
slave maid, Pippa, as she called him, to serve drinks
to the assembled ladies.

Christine had been the first to arrive, she had sent
Pippa to David's cell to change 'his' clothes. Peter
was a convincing transvestite, trained by Christine to
become her live in maid, Pippa. 'He' was able to travel
in female clothing, but not of course in the extremely
revealing maid's outfits common in such gatherings.

Madame Kwai, a well known oriental lady, had hooded,
blindfolded and gagged her slave in the lift on the way
up. She finished zipping his hood just before they
entered Karin's apartment. 'Table' as she called her
slave, carried with him a flat oval sheet of perspex
with straps attached.

Before Madame Kwai took her seat she had her slave
kneel, she strapped his elbows to his knees and then
strapped the oval sheet to his back.

Having stripped him naked, and converted him to her
coffee table beside the sofa where she sat, she removed
his blindfold. He could see little above the knees of
the assembled company, but it was necessary to allow
him sight so that he could keep the table top level.

He had been trained to respond to the crop; if he let
one side of the table slip, the crop administered to the
right part of his body would bring about a readjustment.
It was an entertaining diversion for any Mistress.

Mistress Marique, on arrival removed the full length
coat from her female slave 'Adra'. Adra had also been
hooded and gagged in the lift, now she was naked except
for her suspender belt, stockings and high heels.

Marique liked Adra to be able to see and feel just how
many lustful eyes were able to see her nakedness.
Including those lascivious looks of slaves like 'Pippa'
who were not blindfolded.

Marique fitted ankle restrainers to Adra and linked them
together with a five inch chain. Marique then locked Adra's
hands together with wrist cuffs and fixed them to her collar.

Marique seated Adra between Madame Kwai and Karin, on
the sofa. Adra now felt totally defenceless, especially
as Karin and Madam Kwai began to amuse themselves by
pinching her nipples and thighs.

Karin and Sadine had gone into action as soon as Sadine
had brought her slave in. They stripped him down to
nothing but handcuffs and a ball gag, held in place by
a rubber ring which passed around his head and through
the centre of the ball.

He was led upstairs to Karin's bathroom where Sadine
watched Karin fit him into the Perspex toilet. His hands were
fixed above his head to a 'D' ring on the far side of the
toilet.

He was given a new name, which was of course 'Toilet'.

All the mistresses present were familiar with the
practice of calling a slave by his designated purpose,
whether permanent or temporary. Thereby degrading and
dehumanising the slave to the level of an article or
function. As far as possible when in conversation with
each other, especially when in the slaves earshot, the
ladies would refer to their slave by his label.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This story is one of over 400 stories you can read on the
DOMestic web site. Support DOMestic. Renew / Get your
password at:- http://u4ds.com/password

* * * end of messages * * *

The Fem Dom Training Program.
Train your husband/lover.

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