DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

Hello,

bedroom sub wrote:

>I am so tempted to read the document instead of giving it to my
>wife without review. .

Given that you plan to limit your experience to bedroom only and
not go further, it is probably wiser for you both to read the
manuals together and discuss the various ideas in there and how
they might work for you.

In any case one would not just present the manuals to a partner
without first having had plenty of conversation about the
fantasies.

What I would suggest is that you sit on a low cushion or stool
in the living room while your wife sits above you on the sofa or
armchair. Then you read a chapter aloud to her, and stop and
discuss at any time that either of you feels the need to.

In this way you will communicate your fantasies to her in a non
threatening way and from a non dominating position. And more
importantly you will give her a chance to tell you what she
might like about trying Fem Dom with you.

Do this over several sessions, working your way through the
books until you feel you both have a good understanding of what
you both would like to get out of this aspect of the
relationship together.

>I wonder if you can help or suggest a training guide that fits
>our situation.

I don't know of any guide that is limited to bedroom play and
one of the reasons I write my own guides is that I found all
others I encountered wanting. If a couple understands each
other, then the best guide is of course our software as it is
flexible and more interactive than a manual thus allowing a
partner to choose whatever fits the mood or situation.

Possibly other folk reading DOMestic will have different
suggestions for you.

>My needs are one of my wife controlling solely in the bed room
>and a release for the stress of day to day dominance I must
>execute in "the real world". Surely there are many like us.

Yes of course, it may even be that the majority of kinksters are
just like you. There is no way of knowing for sure.

>The woman enjoys having her man be somewhat the dom in real
>life yet the man needs the release of submission. Perhaps it's
>an impossible dream. I don't see my wife of 29 years moving
>into the full femdom world (but we can hope)

If that is really your hope, then the software will allow her to
develop at her own pace.

>as it's just not "in her" but I hope that her love for me will
>allow her to explore these traits and find some joy and a
>little control. Is this the impossible dream? Perhaps so, and
>I'm ok with that - after all just plain denial is half of
>teasing and denial (wink)

If you express those ideas to your lady yourself, she may yet
surprise you.

sincerely, Christine

The Fem Dom Training Software.
Advises on how best to train your husband/lover.
http://www.mschristine.com/program.shtml

Ms Christine,

Thank you so much for all you do and especially for taking time
to answer my question. You are a dream, your suggestions may
help others as well.

I'd welcome discussion, perhaps others have valuable thoughts.

bedroom sub,

I think you have a good chance of getting close to what you want
if you can create a new dynamic which becomes something that
your wife enjoys.

Do you want to be dominated, or do you want to feel very much
hers?

If you want to be dominated this will only work if your wife
wants to take the dominant role.

And in the bedroom do you want to engage in BDSM activities
(pain, punishment, humiliation, etc) or are you happy to feel
hers engaging in "ordinary" sexual activities?

Lots of BDSM activities will, of course, only be possible if
these are enjoyed by your wife.

I have never dated or had a relationship with a dominant woman.
None of my partners have wanted to take full control.

What I have done with all my dates and partners is not to ask
them to dominate me, but to give them the power to take control
whenever they wish.

In Devotional Sex a Knight only ejaculates when his Princess
allows, and this does not happen most times there is sexual
activity.

When a Princess wants a more horny Knight she keeps him going
for a few days longer than usual, and when she wants a quieter
time she has him cum earlier than usual. As she gets to control
his erotic energy this way, the high energy times only happen
when she wants to play with his energy.

The main use of Princess Power in a relationship comes from the
Princess saying that there will be NO sex during most morning
and evening cuddles.

She does not need to be dominant to say no. Having sex every
morning and bedtime is of course far too much, so she gets to
decide when. When she says no she says this just because she
does not feel like sex. This is not dominance, but just
reasonably saying what she wants.

A dominant woman likes to have control, and part of this is
knowing all about what they have control about. So a dominant
woman is likely to want to read manuals.

None of my partner's have ever studied my website. They don't
need to because I've told them how Devotional Sex works, and
I'll answer all their questions.

What has worked many times for me is to give my date a foot
massage, and whilst doing this tell them about my different way
of enjoying sex.

So I recommend that you read the part of the manual that you
want to tell your wife about several times, and then tell her
from memory. Have it nearby in case you want to look something
up. (I've not seen the manual by the way.)

I top from the bottom in that I give my Princess lots of
options. I'm their map. But I feel very much theirs because they
decide which path to follow, how far we go along any path, and
when we will end our journey.

So my start would be to say that you want to feel hers in the
bedroom, and asks her to take control over when you can
ejaculate, which will only happen every few days.

Say that if she is willing to start that night, then you really
look forward to a cuddle, but she can choose no sexual activity
if she wants (and that this will make you even hornier the next
night). Say that you would love to give her oral sex, and that
if she wants, nothing further need happen.

Give her options. Let her choose.

Lets say you go to bed, give her oral sex, and that is all. The
strong FemDom fantasy might then be that the Mistress orders her
new slave to sleep at the foot of the bed "Now that you are mine
you are not worthy to sleep in the same bed as me."

With Devotional Sex the focus is on intimacy. After giving her
oral sex, and she ending sexual activity, ask for a cuddle, and
for her to just gently hold your erection. (I call this a
Devotional Cuddle.)

Let your erotic energy energize the cuddle. Say how you feel
very close to her, that her holding your erection makes you feel
that you are hers and not rejected even though you are not
allowed to cum. Let her know how happy this cuddle is making
you.

Once your wife learns to feel relaxed having such a cuddle -
that your erection is no-longer a demand or expectation for sex,
she is likely to find these Devotional Cuddles one of the
highlights of your new sex life.

Using kink to increase intimacy is something that many woman
will find attractive. Getting your wife to become your Mistress
is likely to be difficult, but you may find she very much enjoys
the role of being your Princess.

What I'm suggesting will work best if the man is happy for
activities to be mainly ordinary sex, and his partner is not
dominant but willing to take control when she feels like it - a
woman who is happy to be a Princess but would not be a Mistress.

Good Luck!

Michael

Devotionalsex