DOMestic Bdsm and Female Domination

The Fem Dom Training Program. Warning!
Turns your wife/lover into a Dominatrix.

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Re: C: she feels far away from me emotionally
Date: 14 Apr 2010 23:41:11 -0000
From: jucyfruit48

j_stimmt,

We lived thru an out of control teenager. It's terrible. What
your wife needs from you is no demands. Do not talk about sex.
Say nothing but treat her like a queen.

Now is the time for you to cement your servitude to her. Go the
extra mile, do the housework, massage her feet, take her out
dining, LISTEN to her. She is going thru a rough time like you
are but the last thing she needs is a whining husband
complaining about his needs only. Be a real slave and step up
and serve her needs.

Later she will appreciate having a slave husband. She is your
focus and reason for living. You are lucky to have a wife who
even considers that she wants you to be her slave.

DO NOT BLOW IT.

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Re: C: she feels far away from me emotionally
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:42:47 -0400
From: chmnceo

j_stimmt wrote:

>I didn't know where to turn. My therapist seems to want to
>avoid the subject when I bring it up.

For "j_stimmt" who said his therapist wants to avoid the
subject. I am a therapist and that pains me to hear. I'm sorry.

Here are two sources where you can find professionals who are
kink friendly. These therapists are predominantly for those
living in America however you will find some other countries
represented as well.

The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and
Therapists (AASECT)
AASECT has a rigorous list of requirements for a therapist to
become certified.

Kink Aware Professionals (KAP)
Overseen by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

I hope this helps!

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Re: C: she feels far away from me emotionally
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010 01:24:55 +0100
From: "David" at u4ds.com

Hello,

j_stimmt wrote:

>why should it surprise me that she now doesn't want to role-
>play femdom with me and says that it brings out the anger in
>her and she feels far away from me emotionally when we engage
>in this type of sexual play?

I guess it doesn't surprise you at all. And that you want us to
tell you to do what you already know is right.

The only sensible advice is to accept that right now she wants
to feel a lot closer to you, and for her that means not role-
playing femdom. In fact it means giving her what she wants, lots
of conventional loving, whether sexual or not. And especially
for you not to be

>"bored of the same old vanilla sex she seems to want to stay
>with".

You also wrote:-

>My therapist seems to want to avoid the subject when I bring it
>up.

Tell your therapist that you feel he/she is letting you down and
that you really need help with this. Ask him/her to recommend
another therapist who is prepared to discuss this with you.
Either that or look into KAP or AASECT as recommended by
"chmnceo".

>I'm hoping someone on this list can offer some words to help me
>through this very frustrating time.

I think you might read your own words posted in December 2007 in
"D/s sessions - how it works for us":-

http://u4ds.com/2007/12/ds_sessions_how_it_works_for_u.shtml

where you wrote:

>"We play a D/s game now and then, we both have wonderful
>orgasms and then we can put it on the shelf and come back to it
>if the timing is right."

and....

>"I have found that with my wife, the harder I have pushed for
>things I wanted, the farther away she would go and we could not
>agree on anything. I guess I've been blessed in that there have
>been times when I've asked for what I wanted (and must have
>asked the right way or at the right time) and she's given of
>herself to me. There were other times that I had the presence
>of mind and the patience to wait things out until my wife got
>interested again."

sincerely,
David at Ms-Christine.com

The DOMestic discussion list. Now in our thirteenth year. The
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one year password. $16.99 for six months at

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Re: C: Riding a safer wooden pony?
Date: 14 Apr 2010 10:29:16 -0000
From: Mark King

The way we ride the wooden pony is to make sure that the pony is
high enough so that both feet cannot be flat on the ground at
the same time.

If only one foot can be placed flat to the ground, the ball on
the opposing side will feel pressure, as will the "taint".
Sooner or later, the male will need to shift over to the other
foot, placing pressure on the other ball. During this period, a
discussion can be held about the proper behavior expected.

With enough time, the cycle of shifting from one foot to the
other will become more frequent. When it becomes an almost
constant shifting, the male is only then properly "riding the
horse". Once he is fully riding, the punishment is fairly
extreme and should be limited in duration. Conversation during
this phase is not really possible. The key to the horse is time,
this is not a quick punishment. An hour or more is not unusual.
Sometimes much more time is needed.

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Re: C: Slave Party Games
Date: 15 Apr 2010 20:08:47 -0000
From: Carmenica Diaz

The self control game is interesting but a variation is where
the subs are compelled to masturbate themselves for the
amusement of the Madames. When they can no longer hold back,
they must release their penis and put their hands by their
sides, thereby ruining their orgasm. It's amusing to watch.

Sometimes the "edging" (as I like to call it) can go on for some
time. Nice site.

Best regards,
Carmenica

Carmenica Diaz

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Re: C: Chastity Heaven cages
Date: 16 Apr 2010 18:21:08 -0000
From: jim

I just ordered The Cage chastity device from the folks at
Chastity Heaven - I wrote previously about their fantastic
customer service and their willingness to go out of the way to
help and make sure of your satisfaction - but I also want to
relate the fact that their product is also fantastic - the
quality and craftsmanship is excellent - the Cage looks awesome
and will definitely do the job - my only concern is to follow
their fitting instructions carefully - it's very important to
function and overall long-term wear that the device fits
properly - if you are looking for a company that stands behind
their product and will go out of their way to help, then
Chastity Heaven is where to go - and don't forget about their
excellent product line!

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S: Jim's Story - part eighteen
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 2009 23:17:09 -0500
From: randolphus

Jim's Story by randolphus
first part linked here

part eighteen - A Party

We are having a dinner and drinks here at our house for Sarah's
company's management.

Sarah said: "I want you to plan it and do the whole affair; I
want to be a guest."

Since Kathleen has appointed herself as my manager, I asked her
what she thought about the assignment. She didn't express any
thoughts. I managed to get from Sarah, that there will be about
30 guests, I can't seem to find out if they are couples, mostly
men or women, Sarah won't say she doesn't know, but she "can't
tell me now" kinds of answers.

I bought wine, and food. I had made a list of what would be
served and neither Sarah nor Kathleen gave opinions or
preferences, even when I offered choices.

I went with generic safe kinds of things, Cheese, Wine, Chips,
and Dips. I selected a Sandwich Shop to deliver fifty small
sandwiches with ham, salami etc. A bakery will provide an
assortment of cakes and cookies in easy to serve formats. There
will be plenty of food and drink. I rented two large coffee urns
and an espresso machine.

I said: "Miss Kathleen will we be able to relax the strict
curtsy policy during the party?"

Kathleen said: "You don't have to curtsy while the guests are
here but you will be punished for failing to."

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, will that also be the policy
about failing to address my wife as Miss Sarah?"

She said: "Of course, it's your choice, would you rather be
embarrassed or spend time in the stocks."

I didn't want to argue but wouldn't it embarrass Sarah if her
husband called her Miss Sarah and yes ma'am'd her in front of
her co-workers. Maybe I should have asked Sarah.

The guests make the party, not the host and not the food, at
least I kept telling myself.

On the party night, I dressed up in almost formal wear, Sarah
looked lovely, Kathleen was lovely. I had bouquets for the
ladies. I had carnations and bouquets on the tables for the
quests. Sort of like name tags or table placement cards, but I
had no names and no tables.

Everything was in place. Wine, cheese, sandwiches were all on
display. There was coffee in the urns, I was manning the
espresso machine. The guests all arrived and filled our house.

I was trying to solve the curtsy problem by staying in the
kitchen with the excuse of having to run the espresso machine.
Occasionally I opened a bottle of wine in the dining room. But
Kathleen and Sarah were elsewhere.

In the kitchen I listened in on an amazing story. Peggy Owens is
the CEO of Sarah's company. She was telling a lady, Cathy Smith,
who was in charge of the customer support center that she had
divorced her husband because he wouldn't do housework. She
described the escalation of disaffection between them stemming
from a refusal to do dishes. Then Peggy tells Cathy: "Sarah has
her husband trained to do all the housework."

Cathy tells Peggy that her husband does all the housework and
takes care of their baby, in fact Peggy says he couldn't come
because she is punishing him for... she forgot what.

Cathy says, "Nowadays stay home dads have to do what their wives
tell them, I just don't know why they think otherwise."

Of course I said nothing at all and did not look those ladies in
the eye. But Peggy Owens says she would like a cappuccino and
asks if I could make her one. I told her it was my pleasure to.

She said: "Are you Jim, Sarah's husband?"

I said yes I was.

She said: "Aren't you supposed to say yes madam?"

I said: "Yes ma'am, I'm sorry I forgot."

She said: "I'm going to have to tell Sarah. She is very proud of
how well you're trained."

I said: "I'm very sorry Miss Peggy."

She said: "We'll see how the cappuccino comes out."

It was ready then and I served it to her. We began chatting, she
told me about her IT problems and I gave her some advice. She
said she liked the cappuccino so much she might not report me to
Sarah. I thanked her and offered to make her another one. So I
tried to "yes ma'am" with a diminution of the ma'am part for the
rest of the evening.

I thought our relationship was weird. So I was surprised that
Sarah talked about it openly.

When everyone was gone, Sarah gave me a hug and lots of kisses
and said how pleased she was. I wanted to gossip about Peggy and
Cathy but Sarah said: "Peggy said that you forgot to say yes
ma'am. And I noticed lots of missed curtsys."

I said: "But Miss Sarah, it was a party of your peers."

Sarah said: "The curtsy and the way you address us is the most
fundamental element of our entire relationship. I take breaches
very seriously. And now I have you arguing with me."

I heard the righteousness in her words and I knew that there was
nothing I could say. I said: "I'm very sorry Miss Sarah."

Slap, Slap.

She says: "How could you humiliate me so?"

I was stunned; my wife had never slapped me before. And the
slaps hurt.

I really was not going to talk.

Then Sarah started to cry.

After a few sobs, Sarah says: "Ask mom to give you the handcuffs
and the cane. You can do some of the crying."

I said: "Yes ma'am."

There was no doubt what the handcuffs and cane will be used for,
I thought.

I found Kathleen in her bedroom. I curtseyed and said: "Miss
Kathleen, Miss Sarah sent me to bring her handcuffs and the
cane."

Kathleen said: "What have you done?"

I said: "I failed to say Miss to Miss Peggy and I forgot to
curtsy when I was sent for the handcuffs and the cane, Miss
Kathleen."

Kathleen found the items and handed them to me. I curtseyed.

I curtseyed again when I went into Miss Sarah's (our) bedroom. I
presented the cane and handcuffs on my knees.

Sarah said: "Take your clothes off, all of it and then put your
hands behind you."

I said: "Yes ma'am." And stripped as she asked.

Sarah handcuffed me and told me to lie across a chair. Sarah
said: "Do you want to say why I should not beat you."

I said: "Miss Sarah I want to say that I attempted to avoid any
humiliation for you. I didn't know Peggy, I'm sorry, Miss Peggy
was aware of our lifestyle. I want you to know that. However
since you ended up crying, it is very appropriate that I suffer
at your hands. I think you should recall the feelings you had
when you were crying, and transform your anguish to my pain."

Sarah said: "I'm very moved by what you said. And I will beat
you severely. I'm concerned if you can maintain your position.
If you can't, I'll take you downstairs to the stocks and start
over. For only a few strokes more, we can do this in the stocks.
What's your choice?"

I was stunned by what she said. I spill my heart out to her, and
she's no longer my wife but some sort of magistrate. I said:
"I'll do anything you wish Miss Sarah."

Crack.

That was my answer. God that hurt.

Sarah said: "You know you have to thank me and count."

I yelled: "Thank you Miss Sarah, one."

She said: "No this one is one."

Crack.

I screamed: "Thank you Miss Sarah, one."

How many was I going to get? I don't think she said.

Crack.

I screamed: "Thank you Miss Sarah, two."

I thought if they're this hard it can't be more than six.

Crack.

I hoarsely screamed: "Thank you Miss Sarah, seven."

Please not more than 10, I really can't take this.

Crack.

I groaned: "Thank you Miss Sarah, eleven."

I can't take it - how could she give me 15 of these vicious
cuts.

I hoarsely whispered: "Thank you Miss Sarah, sixteen."

I ended up getting 20, actually 21. I had never been beaten this
hard before.

Sarah said: "Get up and go stand in the corner by door."

I said: "Yes ma'am"

She said: "You better not move and no talking, I still have this
cane."

This is my sweet wife. She made me stand there for over an hour.
I knew because I caught glimpses of the l.e.d. clock on the
headboard.

She said: "You may come over here."

She unlocked the handcuffs. She said: "You may crawl under the
sheets and see if you can please me."

I would never have told my wife about my kinkiness. I thought
she would be aghast at the idea of whipping me. Now she whips me
mercilessly just like her mom and then demands sex. So strange.

I loved putting my face in her pussy and I really loved her
wanting me to. After she came she pulled me up to her and hugged
and kissed me.

She said: "Did I beat you too hard, my precious baby?"

I said: "I cannot say Miss Sarah, but I promise I will try to
avoid displeasing you to avoid receiving it again."

Sarah said: "It will be harder next time."

I said: "I will try to avoid a next time."

She cuddled in my arms. We fell asleep like that.

For the first time in nearly a month, I woke up with my wife in
our bed unrestrained except for my penis corset. I jumped out of
bed, curtseyed at the door to a sleeping Miss Sarah and ran
downstairs to start the coffee pot, emptied the dishwasher from
the party and filled it again.

I took a cup up to Sarah where I was just in time to assist her
on the toilet. I helped her dress and get ready.

Sarah said: "You are an excellent lady's butler."

I said: "Thank you Miss Sarah." It really pleased me to receive
that compliment.

I had her breakfast waiting when we went downstairs and I stood
while she ate it. She read the paper and ignored me.

I got her out the door. And I changed my focus to Kathleen. I
remembered that I ratted my self out to her that I failed to
curtsy when leaving Sarah last night. The beating I got should
be the punishment for not curtsying for a year. But that's not
what I got it for. So the logic here is that I need to get
punished separately. Maybe she will have forgotten.

I brought her coffee and waited for her to wake up. It's one of
Kathleen's rules that I have to wait. It could be hours but
usually it's only about ten minutes. I guess at some level she
knows I'm here. (As I found out once when I didn't wait).

I helped her get dressed and made breakfast for her and waited
on her. She went to the easy chair in the family room while I
cleaned up the kitchen and dining room. I went to see her and I
curtseyed.

She said: "I don't see the book."

I knew she was looking for the punishment book, which I put away
yesterday preparing for guests. I took it from the drawer in the
table where I had put it, and brought it to her. My stomach had
the butterflies, was I going to fib, or come clean? I knelt down
in front of Kathleen, head down.

Kathleen said: "We are all caught up. Do you have anything to
report from Sarah?"

I said: "No Miss Kathleen." Damn she can hear the nervousness in
my voice.

Kathleen said: "Is there something that you want to report?"

I said: "When Sarah sent me for the cane and handcuffs I didn't
curtsy leaving her. She was so upset she didn't notice."

Alright I'm a coward, but if I start lying to these ladies I'll
lose something.

Kathleen said: "You know Sarah considers the curtsy and the
respectful addressing very seriously?"

I said: "Yes ma'am, I was beaten harder than I have before,
because I failed to address Miss Peggy properly."

Kathleen said: "What did you learn from that?"

I said: "I was trying to protect Sarah from any embarrassment by
exposing elements of our unusual lifestyle. Evidently Sarah
discussed our arrangement with Miss Peggy who observed that I
did not address her properly, and incidentally said she would
not tattle on me."

Kathleen said: "Evidently Sarah was pretty frustrated because
she probably bragged about how well trained you were."

I said: "Yes ma'am."

Kathleen said: "Since you confessed this yourself, I'm inclined
to show some leniency. However from Sarah's point of view, you
let her down when she was most vulnerable. You see the dilemma I
have?"

I said: "Yes ma'am." I could tell I was going to get it.
Kathleen's dilemmas are why she can't punish me more.

Kathleen said: "I think kneeling at the low hook with the cat
would be a good punishment for this."

I said: "Miss Kathleen I always accept your determinations."

Kathleen said: "We don't have any looking up my skirt
infractions, are you no longer interested?"

I said: "Oh Miss Kathleen, I am interested, and I don't mind the
punishment I would get, I'm only deterred because I believe you
don't want me to be interested."

Kathleen said: "If I said you could look up without punishment,
would you?"

I would very much like to look up. If it does not offend you
then I will.

Kathleen said: "You have become a truly delightful boy. Why
don't you take off my pants."

I said: "Yes ma'am." And I took off her yellow panties. Then I
put my face into her glorious pussy. Kathleen had more than two
climaxes but I lost count.

Kathleen said: "That was very nice. I'm now in the mood to give
you a very nice beating, make yourself ready."

I said: "Yes Ma'am." And I stripped, and knelt down on the hard
oak board she had me put into the corner. I felt like I landed
into the web of the black widow.

She snapped the collar to the low hook, and handcuffed me. And
then she made me wait. The pain in my knees started immediately.
The analogy to an insect in a web is that I could struggle but I
couldn't get away. The spider is doing other things, and I'm
emotionally thrashing in her web.

Finally she came back.

Kathleen said: "I'm seeing what sort of art I can create with
the cat. Depending on how hard I swing and from how high, the
ends form different shapes. I'm going to work on circles today."

SWITT.

God that hurt...

SWITT

I suddenly remembered: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, one."

SWITT

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, two."

Kathleen said: "Too bad you missed the first one, we've done
this too many times for me to have to remind you."

SWITT

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, nine."

SWITT

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, ten."

Kathleen said: "You have a choice. You can kneel here for
another hour without moving, or receive ten more strokes and be
released after the twentieth provided you remember to count.
What is your choice?"

I said: "Please Miss Kathleen may I have the ten more strokes."

SWITT

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, eleven."

I had thought she was going to give me twenty strokes anyway.
And I'll kneel here as long as she wants me to. Giving me
choices is just a taunt. But she's putting a lot of energy into
it and it really hurts.

SWITT

I said: "Thank you Miss Kathleen, twenty."

Amazingly she unlocks my handcuffs. I'm afraid to move yet.
She's moving around, perhaps putting the cat away.

Kathleen says: "You may release yourself and get up. I want you
to kneel in front of me."

I say: "Yes ma'am." And I unsnap the collar from the hook.

It's much easier to kneel on the carpet with the pad underneath
than the board.

Kathleen says: "Tell me what you have learned from this
punishment."

I want to say that I think you get off on beating me and toying
with me.

I said: "I have to remember to curtsy."

She said: "You're a very sweet boy." And she held my head and
gave me a long kiss.

Kathleen said: "You may do your chores. I will inspect your
work."

She went into the family room to watch the TV and I got the
cleaning materials and started on her bathroom.

Kathleen almost always found 'pickup' when she inspected. I
don't think I ever got punished for them, but it's always
humiliating to have her point out my oversights. As a result
I've gotten more and more careful, after doing a room, I stop at
the door and look back to see what I might have missed. I looked
under beds and dressers; in the bathroom I moved the shower
curtains. So I was surprised when she called me into Sarah's
bathroom.

She said I failed to empty the trash bin. I was sure I had but I
went to apologize, do some curtsy's etc. In the trash bin was
one crumpled Kleenex. This was Miss Kathleen throwing a Kleenex
into a trash bin and saying I had not emptied it to see what I
would do.

I begged forgiveness, but Miss Kathleen was not in the mood to
grant it. She said: "I've noticed that you have become
inattentive to your chores."

I knew I was in trouble and arguing or accusing her of throwing
away the tissue was definitely counter productive.

I said: "I'm very sorry Miss Kathleen, I promise to be more
careful."

She said: "I think I will have to take action to help focus on
your work. When you are finished with all the rooms, report to
me."

I said: "Yes ma'am." And curtseyed as she left.

She could have said: "I feel like beating you, hurry up and get
finished." It would be the same and closer to the truth.

I finished and I found her in the family room and knelt at her
feet. I was hoping against probability that it would be a mild
spanking. I reflected that she hadn't really been cruel lately.
Even this morning she relented somewhat. And it was a self-
confessed transgression. Maybe she needs to originate the cause.

I peeked and saw her panties and I think she saw me.

She said: "So you still like to look up ladies' skirts, I
promised you that I would raise the stakes. You should know by
now that I keep my promises."

I said: "Yes ma'am, I do know."

She grabbed my head and pressed it between her legs and captured
it there with her thighs. She said: "Go ahead and look, you can
tell me later if it was worth what you are going to pay."

I knew it was going to be pretty bad.

She said: "Go to the stocks, strip and put yourself in."

I said: "Yes ma'am." And curtseyed as I left her.

I think she abandoned the tissue in the trash in Sarah's room as
a pretext for this punishment. I'm so easy in the presence of
the forbidden fruit.

I got onto the platform and fastened my ankles and put my hands
and head onto the lower frame. She came into the room in her
undies wearing high heels. I'm getting inflamed but she can't
see that because I'm wearing a penis corset to which she has the
key.

I think she could be in Playboy magazine. She pulls down the top
of the frame and I'm immobilized. She could close the frame from
behind and I wouldn't see her. She had meant for me to ogle her.
Then she unlocks my penis corset. I couldn't watch her do it but
I could feel it. Then she took my member in her hand.

She said: "It's just what I thought, you have been lusting."

So I was locked in the stocks, and this woman had my member in
her hand and she says I was lusting.

I said: "Yes ma'am."

She said: "Do you recall the last correction for lusting you
received?"

I said: "Yes Miss Kathleen, I received the strap from you and
the cane from Miss Sarah."

Kathleen said: "That was excellent, Jim. It is a challenge for
me to raise that. Are you ready for that Jim?"

I said: "Oh please no Miss Kathleen." I have never gotten
anywhere begging but hope is eternal.

Kathleen says: "Since Sarah isn't here I will have to do the
caning as well as the strapping. I hope I have the strength to
do all that. But you will fix me a nice lunch afterward won't
you dear Jim?"

I said: "Yes ma'am, I'm looking forward to fixing lunch." I am
definitely caught in a web, and the spider is coming.

Kathleen whipped me really hard. Then she left me sniffling and
sobbing and hiccupping for about a half hour, and came back and
caned me cruelly. I had horizontal ridges I could feel from my
waist to my knees. Then she left me until it was time to make
lunch.

I was devastated. She smelling nice, brought a washcloth and
wiped my face and nose, she caressed my head and said what a
lovely boy I was.

Then she helped me out of the stocks and sent me to fix lunch. I
was now seriously afraid of her. I was also in awe of her. I
vowed to do whatever she asks.

I stood as rigidly as I could with a towel on my arm while she
ate. I tried not to breathe too much.

I walked on eggs all afternoon, I was that frightened of
Kathleen. I visited her between my chores, curtseyed, reported
what I had done, told her what I was going to do. Waited for her
to dismiss me, curtseyed and I was thankful I got away.

( Part 19 on the DOMestic blog this evening - u4ds.com )

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